Mr Data Says Hello

45rrrrkjlllllll69o89+

Always a good sign when Mr Data, Kitty Extraordinaire, is up to climbing up the stairs to the couch, over the computer and onto the kitchen table (that's Data's typing above). He still worries me though as I found today he's lost a pound in the last month. Which I know is related to many things...the CRF, Diabetes, possibly the anemia or blood pressure, but it still hits me hard to see him so thin...because a year ago, he was 13 lbs. Today he was a little over 8 lbs. He's got a little less oomph and a little less spunk than he did a year ago. And there's not much we can do about it. What he has, at least with the CRF, is progressive. So it's up to us now to make him happy and comfortable. Give him whatver he will eat that won't irritate his IBS. And above all, keep from freaking out as that will just upset Data. We could have a long time. We may have less than that. But worrying about what will happen down the road will get in the way of enjoying time with him today.

So to keep my mind off worrying I cleaned. I cleaned and rearranged and organized. I have a very workable kitchen now with everything I use most in one area instead of scattered around. I have a fairly clean carpet free from little Data gifts. I can now see most of my loveseat (which is the reciprocal for all things clutter).

Time to think happy thoughts. Data is eating his fancy feast. He's made a few litterbox visits in time the past few days. And he's crawling around the computer, sitting on the keyboard, deleting applications and making my entire computer scream.

Today, that puts all the other worries in life in perspective.

At Long Last

It's finally over.

I'm home, about 12 miles safely away from work, which is now dark and empty, a far cry from the hundreds of people coming in and out of the venue. And despite the challenges of having board members and directors and such wandering all over the building, the staff managed to sneak in a covert mini baseball game in the main hall. And by that I mean, we have a whiffle ball and take turns pitching and hitting with whatever we can fashion into a bat. It's something we've used as a stress reliever for years and kind of nice to be a part of it again this year, despite all the challenges we've had as a group for the past year. We may never be friends...too much history, too much drama. Way too much mistrust. But sometimes, if we're not actively looking for it, we have these moments that click where we can laugh together and not at each other.

Even better, during the lull between the storms, I even managed to get paperwork done for a project I'm doing on Wednesday which means that yes, indeed, I am actually going to take a scheduled off day tomorrow. Which partly has to include cleaning as I have an visiting home vet coming on Saturday to see Mr. Data but also seems to be leaning towards seeing "Julie and Julia" as it's playing at a theatre within walking distance of my apartment.

I guess I kind of feel like I've been bracing myself against the wind for a long time. Now I need to get my balance back, all around, because I lost a lot of myself these past two months. August was good. September, I tended to flirt with a bit of martyrdom and once I started that, it's guaranteed to trip me up and leave me feeling resentful.

Which is why I thought it was interesting when i came home from work Sunday night and had the talker going up and down the train, talking to everyone for about 10 minutes before hopping off the car and going to the next one. Now it's pretty much a given that after a certain hour on the train, the crazy factor is magnified the later it gets. Ours wasn't too bad. We had a man, talking about his past, about his relationship with God. And on Sunday, he was talking about how people are always talking about how they've been done wrong, how they've angry and bitter and all that. And he then says "More time you spend looking at how something makes you feel, more time you're going to get your feelings hurt."

Now to me that hit home because I am a ruminator. I think about things instead of talking about them. And he was right. I've spent time thinking and blogging about how how bad things are sometimes at work. And I get my feelings hurt every time.

So today is definitely a day to count my blessings for sure. The more positivity I put into my life, the less room there is for negativity, mine and others.

Today I'm grateful for:

1. Doing the right thing at work even though nobody would have known had a I "cheated" and taken a shortcut.
   
2. Mr. Data having a good litterbox day.
3. Getting home from work last night 7 minutes before a big storm hit
4. Having a roof over my head with the winds howling outside tonight
5. Having a seat on the train home tonight
6. Getting to see the White Sox win
7. Quiet neighbors, next door and downstairs
8. My neighbor taking his cats in off the balcony during this weather
9. Having a working elevator
10. Being able to hear all the sounds of the world outside my apartment but feeling cozy and warm inside.
    

Toffee Cookies

So a day of resting and meds did wonders for me as I felt up to making cookies tonight. I found a recipe for toffee chocolate chip cookies and thought, "hey I can do that." Did a little google search, found a recipe at allrecipes and away I went.

Now of course, I tweaked. The recipe called for toffee chips and milk chocolate chips. I had milk chocolate toffee chips and thought that was close enough. I ended up with a very soft dough but went ahead anyway as the dough tasted very good out of the mixing bowl.

They were tasty enough. I had 4 just to make sure I liked them. But they were crispier than I liked ... a kind of crispy chewy if that makes sense. I think because the dough spread out more than I had expected based on the picture at all recipes. Mine were pretty thin by the time I got them out of the oven.

In retrospect, I might add a little more flour next time and actually add more chocolate chips and a little less toffee bits. Or mostly chocolate chips and just a few toffee bits mixed in at the end. I have the rest of the dough in the bowl in my fridge yet and may take another shot at this in a day or so to see if a chilled dough and some more chocolate chips helps.

Ingredients:

1 cup packed brown sugar 1/2 cup butter, softened 1/2 cup shortening 1/4 cup white sugar 1 egg 2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon baking powder 1/4 teaspoon salt 2 cups mini semi-sweet chocolate chips (kind of skipped this one - see notes above) 1 (6 ounce) package almond brickle chips (I used an 8 oz pkg toffee bits instead) 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

1.	Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2.	Mix sugars, margarine and shortening until light and fluffy. Mix in egg and vanilla. Stir in flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Stir in chocolate chips and brickle chips.
3.	Drop dough by rounded teaspoons onto ungreased cookie sheet. Bake 9-10 minutes until lightly brown.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED © 2009 Allrecipes.com

It's Baaaaaaaaccccccck

My weight again. In a good way.

This past month has been a bit of a see saw. Partly stress, partly bad food choices but I reached a low weight of 179.5 a month ago and haven't seen it again until today.

Oh happy dance.

This is big news for me, as I have a long history of detonating with my weight. I'll get down to a certain weight level, lose maybe 20-30 lbs consistently and then, start gaining weight back, 5 pounds here and there, always those little weight increments where you think "oh that's not too bad."

Then of course, you get back to the point where it was too bad and by then your morale and self esteem has just left to go off and sulk and sit in a corner because you haven't been listening to it. And it just seems impossible to get back on track and go through all of that all over again.

So this past month, with the 3 1/2 pounds variation all month, is huge. We're talking personal milestone here because it is, literally, the first time in my weight loss life that I didn't completely detonate and gain most if not of the weight back.

For the most part, we're talking maintenance during this month. So, all things considered, the chinese food and the not so good for me eating choices, and the fact that I've pretty much abandoned the slimfast thing altogther, this is pretty cool.

Who am I kidding. This is completely awesome.

Looks like I may have learned a little discipline and moderation after all.

So I'm back in the 170's which is a great way to start a day that will consist of a staff meeting and putting together our vendor bulletin.

And Mr. Data has been climbing around on the keyboard, a very good sign that he's feeling good.

And breakfast is going to consist of cocoa pebbles as i figure they're about as healthy and nutritious as those slimfast shakes/bars are.

179 1/2 lbs...this is huge.

Not Quite Banana Split Puff Tarts

Sometimes a girls gotta bake when a girls gotta bake despite the dishes. I've made a valiant attempt to catch up on them despite the distraction of the White Sox game and the desire to avoid anything that resembles work even though I know my mood will improve with a cleaner house. But there's still a ways to go before I've got a house that will be relaxing to come home to.


Not Quite Banana Split Puff Tarts
1 heaping tablespoon chocolate hazelnut spread
1 medium banana sliced
1 tbsp chopped walnuts
1/4 cup (approx) Grand Marnier
1 heaping tablespoon strawberry peach jam
additional walnuts for garnish
2 shakes cinnamon

Combine chocolate hazelnut spread and grand marnier until smooth. Add walnuts and bananas, stirring until mixed. Pour into baked shells, cover with jam & top with walnuts.

Recharging the Batteries

Today is off to a glorious start.

I slept in until 8:00, Mr. Data had a good night with the litterbox and food, it's a beautiful day from my patio window and I feel rested.

I feel happy actually.

The worst of the event is over. Granted there's part II next weekend, but it went smoothly this weekend. And I'm even resigned to admitting that in this situation, the coworker was right. Not everyone showed up and the seating was fine.

Next weekend isn't anywhere near as stressful. There's no prep work like this weekend, everything is in place, everyone knows what to do.

So for the first time in awhile, I'm not dreading tomorrow. In fact, I might be able to catch up on some of the projects that have been shoved aside while I was getting up to and through this weekend.

Although I'm quite convinced that part of all of this had to be due to stumbling into that elusive parallel universe where everything goes well with no explanation. Case in point, the email I got from the director I've had issues with before thanking me for all of my hard work and telling me everything flowed well.

This has never happened before. And I might want to save the email as it's unlikely it will happen again. It's hard for this director to say things like that. We've had a history of not getting along, mostly because each of us reminds the other of our mothers. Long story, another time. Anyway. The thank you might have had something to do with our CEO giving me a hug after the event was done Sunday thanking me for everything and this in front of the director in question.

But still, something to savor regardless.

So, today, no ricotta pancakes. Only because in trying to get to and through the weekend, the dishes were seriously neglected. And I have a strange habit of throwing the dishes in the fridge to avoid attracting bugs in situations like this so I have to clean that out in order to get to most of my baking supplies.

Of course there is always pancakes for dinner.

I've got some interesting ingredients in the house to play with though. Yesterday I picked up Toffee chips, Peanut Butter Chips, Racconto (which is like nutrella, a milk chocolate hazelnut spread) and a white chocolate peanut butter spread. I'm thinking something with filo dough and cinnamon.

I'll post later on what I come up with for dessert after I do battle with the dishes.

All the decks are cleared. Today, time to recharge and organize.

Thriving on Chaos

So, there was no chaos with the big do today.

None.

Everyone was on their best behavior. The extra vendors/clients who had been invited didn't show up so there was so turning them away at the door for lack of room. People were polite and friendly.

And I, being the slightly deranged person I am in situations like this, was actually a little disappointed. Of course, I was also probably one of the few people who thought that as well when Y2K rolled around and none of that promised chaos happened.

Which of course means that I am going to have to hear, to no end, "I told you so" from the coworker who had been pushing to invite more and more people.

Now mind you there is still the potential for chaos as this is really a 2 day event, with another repeat one next weekend. So, I'm not sure I really wanted this chaos to happen or just didn't want to prove this one person right. Especially as she and I have been having words about her willingness to hand out passes to everyone and anyone despite being told not too.

So, ok, this situation is more about ego than anything else. I admit it.

But so far, so good. I'm tired, but there's maybe another hour at best and then I'm good to go, get home around 10, have a half hour of time to do anything and then need to go to bed, try to sleep and be back here before 9 am for another day of fun.

I'm tired but I'm good.

In Need of Sleep

Too tired to write much tonight. These past few weeks are catching up with me. I've gone through my optimistic stage, my concerned stage, my cranky stage, my tired stage and am now in my "crap 13 more days to go" stage.

Way too many hours and too many days in a row combined with a poor diet are doing me in.

It will get better. Just not for awhile.

Blueberry Ricotta Pancakes

It looks like my new Sunday tradition is going to be Ricotta Pancakes. I'd gone to brunch a month or so back drooling because I knew in advance I was going to order the Ricotta Pancakes. I'd never tried it before but the description in my mind promised a plate of delight.

Eh, not so much. Very dense, chewy, rather bland pancakes. I felt rather cheated afterwards.

So on a whim last week I googled Ricotta Pancakes and came across this gem from A Feast for the Eyes that turned out amazing. Last week, I made them with chocolate chips. This week with fresh blueberries. Both, equally delicious. This week, I took the left over dough and made blueberry ricotta muffins...I'll post later how they taste.

Now my pancakes are not pretty but that's more to do with my spatula skills than the recipe.

Ricotta Pancakes
Adapted from a Recipe at "A Feast for The Eyes"
Original Recipe: Bobby Flay

Ingredients
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar
1 cup ricotta cheese
2 eggs
2/3 cup buttermilk
bluberries
generous dash lemon zest
Butter, for griddle

Directions Preheat a nonstick griddle.
Combine flour, baking powder, nutmeg, salt, and sugar in a small bowl.
Whisk together the cheese, eggs, milk, lemon juice and zest in a large bowl.

Whisk the flour mixture into the wet ingredients until just combined.
Brush the hot griddle with butter.
For each pancake, pour approximately 1/4 cup measure of the batter on the griddle and cook on both sides until light golden brown. Repeat until no batter remains.

Mr Data Strikes Again

My one day to sleep in and I'm up at 5:40 am. Partly because Mr. Data (kitty extraordinaire) had jumped up on the bed, I got a whiff of eau de kitty in the apartment and knew that somewhere there were little kitty surprises (with an IBS kitty, they could be anywhere). Unfortunately, my foot found them before I found the light switch. Fortunately for me, I was wearing socks when said foot found them.

So today, the decks are cleared. I had had plans to do something but cancelled them. I need to relax and detox from last week both physically and mentally. Our first big do is Friday and Saturday which means another 6 days straight, 1 day off, one more chaotic week with the other big 2 day event and then AT LAST extended time off (Tuesday through Sunday).

I've already been to the store to pick up corn starch so I've got all my ingredients to make the not technically butterscotch pudding with the alcohol to be figured out later (I'm leaning toward Grand Marnier.)

Today's picture came from my walk to the store. We had another delightfully foggy morning today (although not as dense at yesterday) so when I was walking back, the sun was starting to burn off the fog and I got this shot.

Fogged In

I'll admit, I kind of like fog.

I know it's a pain to drive in. And since i don't drive, that probably helps my relationship with fog. I just love it when I wake up in the morning, go to the computer and in the process see that the fog outside is so dense that I can barely see the building across the stress. It's like having my own little section of the world all to myself. So of course, I had to grab my camera and run out on the balcony. Then I had to run back inside to put the battery in that I'd had recharging overnight.

And because of the fog, it's quiet outside. No cars zooming up and down the street, honking or beeping. For a minute, it's like the entire world, consisting of all its worries and problems has just disappeared. No neighbors running up and down the stairs. We're all in our own little section of our world.

I can hear people starting to wake up. And bit by bit, the fog is lifting. It's still pretty dense but I can start to see more things outside.

Sigh. Time to go back to the world.

Go Sox (Oh Who Am I Kidding?)

Got out of work today closer to 8:00 following a chaotic dinner we had going on that had some major snafus so tomorrow is going to seem like a treat with only 6 hours. Then again, technically tomorrow isn't work as much as it is acting as a social director for an event that's renting out part of our space. It translated into getting paid to find the maintenance guy and make sure that people don't crash the party too much.

I've gotten better at activities like this. The thought of saying no to kids running up and down the hallway used to fill me with dread. Now I just chase the little darlings down and herd them like cattle back to where they're supposed to be.

And Sunday is mine, mine mine to do with as I wish. Which hopefully translates into making butterscotch pudding (ie, I got my baking with Dorie book today!). Although I don't have scotch so I'm wondering what other alcohol I have in the house that might do.

Today's picture came when I was stuck on the train and had my camera handy. I've been hesitant in the past about pulling out the camera and clicking away when other people were around. Mostly because I'm convinced they'll think i'm odd for taking pictures of some of the things I do. This one turned out better than I had thought it might.

You Didn't Ask

So today was one of those never quite hit my stride, two many days in row with 2 many hours worked and two many coworkers (including myself) taking minimal breaks or no breaks. And based on the other chaos in the office, it was clear that the other two people with me today were having the same kind of glitch in their step.

Which should have told me another collective psychotic break was bubbling on the horizon. It got to the point where I sat and cried in the stairwell. One of those moments when I just felt "I can't go back in there."

Bear in mind, in a way, our office is very nearly like a wildlife refuge. One by one, we all came in, emotionally injured, some of us in our minds convinced we were damaged goods, with our scars and our baggage and our quirks that could make anyone develop a tic if they spent enough time around us. We're like wounded ducks that finally found a place to roost when anywhere else we would have been fired a long time ago for our behaviors or talking back to the boss or flouncing around the office declaring that it's not our job to do whatever we feel its not our job to do.

So I know they're messed up. So am I. They're good people in their way. So am I. But all of us, collectively, with the exception of a few people, are a little socially flawed. So our communications skills with each other tend to blow up when we feel we're not being taken seriously or when we feel we're not getting what we feel is our due.

But today, all the rationalizations and pondering did diddly squat. And I got wound up by one of my coworkers who has taken to the habit of deciding on her own who is getting product distributions. Never mind the fact that we're over subscribed. So while there was a vendor in the office, there we are with me saying we need to get our bosses approval and her saying "Well I've already signed another vendor up for this." So second vendor says she'll call us tomorrow and leave.

It wasn't until after this vendor left, that she tells me "well that's so and so (a stockholder's) relative."

Which of course makes a huuuuuuuge difference in regards to whether we say yes or no. So I asked her why she hadn't said anything.

Her response? "You didn't ask."

That's the point where I left the office, went up in the stairwell and cried. Which was probably for the best as there was no fixing or repairing this kind of illogical conversation. And I really ought to have known better. When you've worked for someone long enough, you kind of know when they've reached their illogical stage. I'm just not sure if we've worked together so long that we've taken the little social niceities for granted. We work together because it's our job but we dont' show each other as much compassion as we do to someone new who comes into our office.

So, I have to figure out a way to work with this person. I'm not sure that they will. And if they don't, is my peace of mind even worth fighting with them again. I've already taken steps to remove the passes for this promotion from plain sight. And I have my bosses approval to hide them.

If I wasn't tired before, I definitely am now.

Last but never least, thank you to Cathy for joining my blog! I hope you enjoy the site.

Procrastination Bites

It has been happening at work more than I like. I have intentions of getting a project done, get distracted and then drop the ball. Today it was on something I should have contacted the city about and didn't thinking I had more time. Turns out I didn't and the city was going to come and post a notice that our water was going to be disconnected sometime this week. Fortunately for us, the city doesn't have our right address and it gave us time to get the bill paid.

Now I am very lucky in the fact that my boss is understanding and as long as we follow up and get reimbursed on this (we're tax exempt) it should be okay. But I see in this the fact that my disorganization in general is affecting many areas of my life. My house quite frequently is a mess. My desk is a mess. My filing system is a joke.

The mess is catching up with me. I firmly believe a disorganized house or disorganized desk can easily spread to other areas of my life without discipline. I've missed paying bills on time, lost out on money because I forgot to redeem things, almost paid my rent late a few times because I lost track of time, and come home and waste time on computer games when all around me my life is crying out to be organized.

While I might normally try to put a positive spin on this, it's impossible this time. I messed up. Major time. Like I said, my boss didn't jump down my throat. Considering my boss is very happy with me for helping her when she was out I feel confident that I'm not going to get fired.

But I do want to learn from my mistakes. I need to learn from them. I cannot live in this kind of chaos anymore. I'm tired of panicking myself into insomnia followed by being too tired to be organized.

Orange Ricotta Chicken

Thank heavens for all the gifted cooks out there. Together you're retraining me on how to cook again.

Today I found a lovely recipe by Debby over at "Feast for the Eyes" (http://foodiewife-kitchen.blogspot.com) and decided to make something involving Chicken and Orange. However at the store, I got completely distracted by a sale on butter (store brand 1 lb box 1.77 with discount card, limit 4, bought home 8) that I bought home none of the ingredients she used. So I went shopping in my cabinet. Limited pickings, so I went back to the tasty ricotta theme inspired by Palidor over at Crazy Asian Gal (http://crazyasiangal.blogspot.com).

Now if this cooking thing ever is going to be successful, I am going to have to start measuring better when I experiment but too late now.

I pulled Ricotta, Brandy, Orange Extract and Brown Sugar out of my cabinet, blended until mixed well but still thick and spread that over the chicken breasts, before topping it with some leftover walnut chips from a cookie recipe a few weeks ago and then sprinkling that with orange zest that's be in the cabinet forever. Now I like sweets so this was right up my alley...I tasted a dab of it before spreading it over the chicken.

Into the fridge with this for an hour while I waited for my Lavash Cracker Dough to rise. I'd learned to make this the end of August with my baking group as we made several recipes from the Bread Bakers Apprentice. It was the first of the group to go, partly because it was so yummy and hey, there was french onion dip involved. So, having gone to the store and found there was also a 2 for one sale on Boursin and Rondele Pub Cheeses I was motivated to try my hand at Lavash again.

I cooked the chicken at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Overall, I loved this chicken recipe better than yesterday's experiment. The taste was milder after cooking, with just a hint of sweet orange afterwards and the chicken was tender. One downside was the sauce was a bit grainy so I'd try either adding more brandy or whisking it (I just stirred).

The One Meal Deal

I was inspired to try ricotta and bacon in a recipe the other week by a particularly tasty series of yummy recipes by Palidor over at Crazy Asian Gal blog (I'd put in a link but haven't figured that out yet!). With apologies to Palidor, her original recipe looked absolutely wonderful and was very clear with directions. Mine not so much. I clearly have to work on my cooking patience.

I started out by a saucepan dump of the ingredients including ricotta cheese, bacon, figs, chives and minced freeze dried onions.This lasted about as long as it took for the ingredients to get softened somewhat which fortunately was about the time I got tired of waiting. It should be said when I"m tired and sick, my impulsiveness goes up substantially.

I split open 3 chicken breasts and arranged them in the pie pan surrounded by diced mini golden potatoes before spreading the minimally softened ricotta mix, covering it with a layer of bacon strips and then surrounding it with another small ring of potatoes and a fig.

3 chicken breasts, split
2 large tablespoons (regular, not measuring) ricotta cheese
2 slices bacon, minced
4 figs, diced
1 dozen mini potatoes, approximately, diced
2 large shakes minced onion
2 small shakes dried chives
4 slices bacon (garnish)
2 figs (garnish)

It took about an hour at 350 for it to cook. And the chicken was wonderfully tender. I realized that it needs a little more zip though...salt or garlic or something else. But for an impulse, make it up kind of as I went along, it didn't turn out too bad at all. Maybe also cut the bacon up into smaller pieces for the top layer. Also, although it tasted nice, it seems like it could be visually better so i'm thinking of maybe adding a ring of diced tomato around it.

Cinnamon Fig Chocolate Chip Cookies

Now the recipe turned out a little different than I had expected but it's what happens when you modify and tweak a recipe you've never tried before. I had expecting a more traditional chewy chocolate chip type of cookie but ended up more with a cakey type of cookie.

The original recipe came from a computer game I bought several months back based on "Hells Kitchen." And what's best about the game is the in-game specials of the day that also include a downloadable recipe.

My biggest problem was I realized after I started making it that all of the ingredients are listed in ounces and pounds, not in cups and teaspoons. So I used my best judgment in guessing. Regular font is what was in the original recipes. Italics are what I came up with.

HK Game Chocolate Chip Cookies
Makes 3 dozen cookies depending on size

12 oz sugar (1 1/2 cups)
12 oz brown sugar ( 1 1/2 cups)
1 lb butter(same thing)
4 eggs (same)
1 oz vanilla extract (1 tablespoon)
1 pound 10 oz flour, preferably bread flour ( 6 cups regular flour)
1 oz baking soda (1 tbsp)
1 oz salt (1 tbsp)
1 1/2 pounds chocolate chips (1/2 12 oz bag)
(add: 2 tbsp cinnamon)
(add: 1 tbsp nutmeg)
(add: 6 figs chopped)

Cream the butter and sugars, add eggs one at at time, add vanilla. Mix all the dry ingredients and add in 2 parts. Bake at 350 degrees for 6-8 minutes.

I deviated from the recipe from the get go. First, with guessing at measurements based on what I was able to find online, then by adding the extras. The mix was thicker until I threw in the figs and then I got a stickier dough....
I think my biggest problem was not adding enough chocolate chips. I liked the taste of the cookies with the spices, but I didn't get enough chocolate chip in my bite which is why I threw some extra ones on top. Also, I think next time I'll add more figs, but fold them into the dough by hand instead of using the mixer so the figs stay a little more intact. Possibly even adding chocolate chunks instead of chips too. The amount of figs I used didn't add any recognizable taste that I could tell.

Overall, I like it though. I'd rate it 3 stars myself because of the lack of chocolate chips. I would also want to either get a scale or a better conversion system before making it again, because as it was, the recipe made a lot more than 3 dozen cookies and I made some pretty good sized cookies at that.

I Am Superwoman!

I fixed the DVD driver on my computer last night.

Now bear in mind, I'd rented the movie to relax. Which lasted about as long as it did to find out my regular DVD player had died and the DVD driver had disappeared.

I admit...the first reaction was stressed irritation, involving talking to myself and one of those running around in circles moments where nothing gets done because you're so focused on what's going wrong.

Then I looked online, found the solution and fixed it.

Big step for me. Taking action instead of worrying about it.

And what do you know? It worked.

Say What?

So someone told me today that I had a peaceful, go with the flowness about me.

Which I said thank you to as it was the CEO who said it. However, I'm wondering if he and I are existing in parallel universes. Or if he'd recently had a blow to the head.

Now I know this sounds negative. And it's really not intended to be that way. I'm just surprised when I hear things like that, because with all of the scurrying and worrying that goes on in my head, I feel like I'm the polar opposite. I'm caught by surprise waiting for the shoe to drop when I hear compliments like that.

Or, maybe I'm just not giving myself enough credit. Maybe once in awhile, we come across people who see that side of us that shines very briefly, almost by accident, when we're not looking. They get that one split second of that true side of us that we hide from everyone else until we let our guard slip for a moment.

All I know for sure right now is I'm tired. Way too many hours worked, too many days in a row sort of tired. So i'm off to play computer games. Something simple to let my mind unwind.