You Didn't Ask

So today was one of those never quite hit my stride, two many days in row with 2 many hours worked and two many coworkers (including myself) taking minimal breaks or no breaks. And based on the other chaos in the office, it was clear that the other two people with me today were having the same kind of glitch in their step.

Which should have told me another collective psychotic break was bubbling on the horizon. It got to the point where I sat and cried in the stairwell. One of those moments when I just felt "I can't go back in there."

Bear in mind, in a way, our office is very nearly like a wildlife refuge. One by one, we all came in, emotionally injured, some of us in our minds convinced we were damaged goods, with our scars and our baggage and our quirks that could make anyone develop a tic if they spent enough time around us. We're like wounded ducks that finally found a place to roost when anywhere else we would have been fired a long time ago for our behaviors or talking back to the boss or flouncing around the office declaring that it's not our job to do whatever we feel its not our job to do.

So I know they're messed up. So am I. They're good people in their way. So am I. But all of us, collectively, with the exception of a few people, are a little socially flawed. So our communications skills with each other tend to blow up when we feel we're not being taken seriously or when we feel we're not getting what we feel is our due.

But today, all the rationalizations and pondering did diddly squat. And I got wound up by one of my coworkers who has taken to the habit of deciding on her own who is getting product distributions. Never mind the fact that we're over subscribed. So while there was a vendor in the office, there we are with me saying we need to get our bosses approval and her saying "Well I've already signed another vendor up for this." So second vendor says she'll call us tomorrow and leave.

It wasn't until after this vendor left, that she tells me "well that's so and so (a stockholder's) relative."

Which of course makes a huuuuuuuge difference in regards to whether we say yes or no. So I asked her why she hadn't said anything.

Her response? "You didn't ask."

That's the point where I left the office, went up in the stairwell and cried. Which was probably for the best as there was no fixing or repairing this kind of illogical conversation. And I really ought to have known better. When you've worked for someone long enough, you kind of know when they've reached their illogical stage. I'm just not sure if we've worked together so long that we've taken the little social niceities for granted. We work together because it's our job but we dont' show each other as much compassion as we do to someone new who comes into our office.

So, I have to figure out a way to work with this person. I'm not sure that they will. And if they don't, is my peace of mind even worth fighting with them again. I've already taken steps to remove the passes for this promotion from plain sight. And I have my bosses approval to hide them.

If I wasn't tired before, I definitely am now.

Last but never least, thank you to Cathy for joining my blog! I hope you enjoy the site.