Monday, September 28, 2009

At Long Last

It's finally over.

I'm home, about 12 miles safely away from work, which is now dark and empty, a far cry from the hundreds of people coming in and out of the venue. And despite the challenges of having board members and directors and such wandering all over the building, the staff managed to sneak in a covert mini baseball game in the main hall. And by that I mean, we have a whiffle ball and take turns pitching and hitting with whatever we can fashion into a bat. It's something we've used as a stress reliever for years and kind of nice to be a part of it again this year, despite all the challenges we've had as a group for the past year. We may never be friends...too much history, too much drama. Way too much mistrust. But sometimes, if we're not actively looking for it, we have these moments that click where we can laugh together and not at each other.

Even better, during the lull between the storms, I even managed to get paperwork done for a project I'm doing on Wednesday which means that yes, indeed, I am actually going to take a scheduled off day tomorrow. Which partly has to include cleaning as I have an visiting home vet coming on Saturday to see Mr. Data but also seems to be leaning towards seeing "Julie and Julia" as it's playing at a theatre within walking distance of my apartment.

I guess I kind of feel like I've been bracing myself against the wind for a long time. Now I need to get my balance back, all around, because I lost a lot of myself these past two months. August was good. September, I tended to flirt with a bit of martyrdom and once I started that, it's guaranteed to trip me up and leave me feeling resentful.

Which is why I thought it was interesting when i came home from work Sunday night and had the talker going up and down the train, talking to everyone for about 10 minutes before hopping off the car and going to the next one. Now it's pretty much a given that after a certain hour on the train, the crazy factor is magnified the later it gets. Ours wasn't too bad. We had a man, talking about his past, about his relationship with God. And on Sunday, he was talking about how people are always talking about how they've been done wrong, how they've angry and bitter and all that. And he then says "More time you spend looking at how something makes you feel, more time you're going to get your feelings hurt."

Now to me that hit home because I am a ruminator. I think about things instead of talking about them. And he was right. I've spent time thinking and blogging about how how bad things are sometimes at work. And I get my feelings hurt every time.

So today is definitely a day to count my blessings for sure. The more positivity I put into my life, the less room there is for negativity, mine and others.

Today I'm grateful for:
  1. Doing the right thing at work even though nobody would have known had a I "cheated" and taken a shortcut.
  2. Mr. Data having a good litterbox day.
  3. Getting home from work last night 7 minutes before a big storm hit
  4. Having a roof over my head with the winds howling outside tonight
  5. Having a seat on the train home tonight
  6. Getting to see the White Sox win
  7. Quiet neighbors, next door and downstairs
  8. My neighbor taking his cats in off the balcony during this weather
  9. Having a working elevator
  10. Being able to hear all the sounds of the world outside my apartment but feeling cozy and warm inside.

1 comment:

  1. That talker on the train is quite right. You're not alone in being a ruminator. I am too! And the constant thinking can certainly drive you crazy, so it's good to shift your thoughts to more positive things. I hope Mr. Data's weekend checkup goes well.