Being Accountable to Yourself

So today should be a keep out of the kitchen day at work since we have an event going on and there will be caterers running amuck. On the positive side, that means I get to come in, hand out a few program books and get paid for really just standing around and doing nothing. On the not so much positive side, there's lots of yummy food lying in wait, ready to pounce and attack me at any time.

I've come to the conclusion lately that keeping an online public food journal is pretty much a waste of time for me. I'm not honest with it at all. I'm not sure if I'm just embarassed to admit to the people in my little corner of the world that I've attacked food as it were my last meal ever or if it's just a question of it being too easy to delete the proof of bad days. Just hightlight, click and it's gone forever.

Whichever it is, the past four days have been a lot easier for me with eating. I have my little notebook and pen handy at all times and have been dutifully writing everything down. Every little extra spoonful. Every little extra sip. It's all there. And somewhere in the process, I've been eating less. Which I find very interesting. It's almost as if once it's out of my head and onto paper, it takes away a lot of the impact the silly excuses and rationalizations had over me. It becomes real then. So where I can say to myself "It's really all just one dessert split over the day" now becomes "Damn, I had a boatload of sugar today."

I think this is proof that my inner child should not be allowed to plan my menus or go grocery shopping with adult supervision too.